A case of foot and mouth
April 27th, 2008, 6:10 pm Teen Hobbies
Even though Ive spoken in public more than 500 times, interviewed Prime Ministers, Sir Ed and legendary All Blacks such as His Nibs Culhane, introducing Tawera Nikau at the Newfield this Tuesday night has got me doubting myself.
Its Taweras prosthetic leg %26mdash; its tying me up in knots.
Like I might say, %26quot;On the league paddock, Tawera was a cut above the rest%26quot;.
But is it okay to say cut? What about %26mdash; %26quot;On and off the paddock hes a man of steel%26quot; ? Worse.
The more I try not to think about the leg, the more it pops up.
Its like being on a diet and everyone around you turns into prime rump and tender breast.
The leg is everywhere and Im panicking I might say the wrong thing.
To make matters worse I used to have pub lunches with my step-father-in-law, a double amputee, and he joked about being at the Northern and legless by mid-day.
What if that pops into my head when Im about to speak and I make a crack about being half-cut by eight oclock?.
The whole thing is prosthetic %26mdash; I mean pathetic.
This is a clear case of the shadow that Carl Jung talks about, the dark side of the personality.
The more I try to be the nice guy, the more the shadow puts these ugly things in my head and mouth.
Maybe underneath I am jealous of Tawera. After all he is a famous league star whereas I played at fullback where I was often mistaken for a spectator.
He has overcome personal tragedies to be an inspirational solo dad, whereas I get the run around at home from five women and the dog.
And as a speaker, he walks on water %26mdash; even with his … even with the … Oh, no, here we go again.
So, come to the Newfield on Tuesday night to hear a great speaker introduced by a weak-minded, neurotic MC.
I keep telling myself it doesnt matter what I say, everyone is coming to hear Tawera.
But I have to say something. I just dont know what.
I admit it.
Im completely stumped.
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