Spammety spam
April 2nd, 2008, 11:15 pm Hobbies News
Okay so I did two because the first found me Average (shock horror) and another one on another site made me Slightly Above Average (thats better) and a Word Warrior to boot. They had heaps of pesky lateral thinking questions like %26quot;If Amy and Matt have green hair, how much did John and Sara spend on deodorant last January%26quot;. That kind of thing. Meh.
And now I have e-mails from people claiming to be investment bankers skimming 3.2 percent from the top of $30 million deals and offering to share it with me. On reflection perhaps I should have double checked that this was in fact a scam and not a legitimate offer %26mdash; dash it all, I could be in the Caribbean wearing a burqua (to cover my sins) and drinking coconut-based cocktails that will give me both a hangover and chronic diarrhoea.
I used to have a relationship with the spammer TruckerOut who e-mailed me almost every day offering me jobs as a, well, I assume a truck driver, which was sweet.
But I simply dont suit a trucker cap, am a bit iffy with road rules and am basically too short to get up into the cab anyway. Id need to install one of those hydraulic lift things and all of the other truckers would mock me when I stopped to get gas and a chicken fried steak and some key lime pie.
But Id eventually earn their respect by saving the day at some point, and theyd call me Momma Bear over the two-way radio. Good times.
I dont understand why people get so upsetski about spam. Its pretty easy to spot and you just delete it %26mdash; its not like stupid junk mail that you have to recycle (or hide in the neighbours bushes). And finding out about someone whose husband is locked up in a Sudanese jail and needs to borrow your bank account so they can sneak $10 million out of the country is much more interesting than finding out that Briscoes is having a sale. Again.
*Spam is unsolicited e-mails** usually from someone offering cut rate Viagra or peepee enlargements.
**E-mails are electric mail sent to your computer***.
***Magic box full of devil machinery.
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