Mother Suspects Teen Using Drugs
May 27th, 2008, 4:04 am Hobbies News
Hello Dr. Scott. I have a question about my teenage daughter. She is 16 years old. She has always been a good girl, but lately I am worrying about her and I don’t know if she’s making good decisions. She’s been lying lately, which is something she never used to do. She’s also coming home late sometimes. She has different friends. I don’t want to be judgmental, but her new friends look dirty and act sillier than the friends we’re used to seeing with her. I just don’t have a good feeling about her like I used to. My real question is whether or not she might be doing drugs. I know for a fact that some of her new friends do because they’ve been arrested for it. Am I just being paranoid here?
Well no doubt some of these changes could be due to the condition known as adolescence. And, although it’s not technically a mental health disorder, it certainly brings with it real challenges. Kids do change at this age and sometimes for the worse. In many cases, it’s a phase, followed by another phase, and then another, and so on, until your child finds who they really are. It’s normal at this time of life to experiment with different ways of being, new interests, different styles of dress, etc. One of the main purposes of adolescence is to form a personal identity that one can claim as their own. If it’s done right, this identity can serve as a positive guide for behavior and attitude for the rest of one’s life. Unfortunately, at this age, some experimentation is unhealthy and significantly damaging.
With that said, it seems like you might have some reasons to worry. As a mother, it’s important to follow your gut. If you feel like something is going on here beyond just normal teenage craziness, then you need to pay attention to your instincts. Mother’s intuition can be a powerful tool. There are some specific things that you’ve mentioned that do concern me. Lying is one of them. Breaking rules is another. And, of course, anytime kids get around other kids doing bad things, they are more likely to do bad things themselves. Now, many teens would argue that point, but the truth is that peer groups have a very powerful influence on our children.
Here are some signs to look for that might indicate drug use. Now please remember that if your girl has some of these signs, it does not necessarily mean she is on drugs, but they can be a warning that you need to look into things further. Here they are: Changes in appetite, shakiness, decreases in school performance, missing classes, red eyes, large or small pupils, certain smells like alcohol or marijuana, hyperactivity, needle marks, lot of sweating, vomiting, isolation, defensiveness, lying, changes in personality or mood, secretiveness, trouble paying attention, loss of interest in hobbies or sports, changes in habits, low motivation, irritability, tantrums, changes in friends, drug paraphernalia, staying out late, not telling you where she is going, extreme guardedness about phone and computer use and apathy. There are more, but these are some of the most common signs.
If you have reasons to believe that your daughter is using drugs, you have no time to lose. You need to take action. Don’t waste time worrying about if you’ll offend her by looking into this. Far too many parents worry about losing their child’s trust by snooping. The fact is that your daughter is already lying to you and therefore you cannot take her word on this subject. Drug users become excellent liars. Do what you need to. If you can’t get straight answers from her, then look at her text messages, look at her computer messages, ask her friends, and so on. Maintaining a teenager’s trust is little consolation when you end up with a child in jail, pregnant or dead. And, as always, seek professional help as needed.
Tags: adolescence, attitude, challenges, coming home, craziness, different styles, drugs, gm, good girl, Hobbies, instincts, intuition, lai, mental health, mental health disorder, new friends, nfl, no doubt, parents, paying attention, sports, text messages, time kidsRelated posts
