The Other Boleyn Girl
March 22nd, 2008, 10:00 pm Hobbies Ideas
The Other Boleyn Girl is a missing chapter in Henry VIII’s sex life, and one
of the most ravishing pieces of trash I’ve seen, writes James Christopher.
The Tudor costumes are fabulous. The cast are skin-cream gorgeous. And the
bitchy fight between the two Boleyn sisters over who performs better in bed
with the hunky King of England is X-rated Mills %26amp; Boon. Women will adore
the sibling scrap between Natalie Portman’s greedy Anne (the calculating
tease who marries Henry) and Scarlett Johansson’s tender-hearted younger
sister, Mary.
But I’m bemused as to why this profoundly unstable monarch has become such a
heroic box office draw. A chick-flick romance featuring Henry VIII is surely
an insane contradiction in terms considering his axe-happy way with wives
and the 80,000 people who went to the gallows during his regal watch.
Justin Chadwick’s film has no time for such irritating details. His ugly story
unfolds like a glamorous Fleet Street scandal. The randy Henry (Eric Bana),
is bored to tears by his saintly Spanish wife, Catherine of Aragon. Bana’s
King is a brooding loner with huge, furry, Holbein shoulder pads and a
George Michael beard. He wants fresh young meat between the bear-rug sheets,
and there isn’t a noble in his scheming court who wouldn’t pimp his own
daughter for the royal privilege. David Morrissey is terrific as the wicked,
power-hungry uncle who places both the Boleyn sisters under Henry’s nose.
His sneering voice is one of the few pleasures of the film.
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