The Role Of Grandparents In Raising Children
June 11th, 2008, 7:34 pm Hobbies And Interests
My son’s granny has taught him how to use e-mail. “It’s so that she and I can stay in touch,†he explains with a four-year-old’s seriousness: “We have important things to discuss.†As well as imparting pearls of computer wizardry and wisdom, Granny B is also teaching Joe to play chess, and let’s not forget sixtysomething Nanny Choo, who gamely plays football with him and shares his passion for jigsaws (or fakes it with admirable enthusiasm).
Since I’m a “time-poor†working mum without the time, patience or the inclination to do any of these things, I’m incredibly indebted to the grandparents for filling in the “parenting gap†in my kids’ lives.
And I’m right to be grateful. The findings of the first national survey, led by Oxford University, about the relationships that children have with their grandparents has shown just how much they can contribute to a child’s wellbeing. It seems that not only do teenagers value intergenerational bonds but that grandparents’ active involvement produces better adjusted adolescents.
In particular, taking part in grandchildren’s hobbies and interests was found to be linked with fewer emotional, social and behavioural problems. “Grandparents who get stuck in and do things with their grandchildren are those who bring the most emotional benefits,†says Ann Buchanan, who led the study. “There are huge advantages for grandchildren of this kind of active grandparenting.â€
Sixty per cent of childcare provision in the UK is provided by grandparents, saving the UK economy ï¿¡4 billion a year. It seems that many UK grandparents are playing a role as educators, helping children with homework and providing advice and support.
Grandparents are the ones with whom adolescents feel able to discuss their plans for their future. “They’re very supportive and helpful when it comes to what career to take and that kind of thing,†said one teenage boy. And at times of family breakdown and separation, grandparents play an important role in bringing stability.
Look at Barack Obama, who has had a complicated parental situation (his parents had divorced, his father had returned to Kenya and his mother had settled in Indonesia with her new husband). “My grandmother poured everything she had into me and helped to make me the man I am today,†he said as he claimed nomination victory last week.
And yet the grandparent’s role is almost invisible in family policy in the UK, according to Ann Buchanan. “The Government needs to rethink the policy implications of this report and provide more support for the important intergenerational relationships.â€
More than one million UK children are denied access to their grandparents, either as a result of an acrimonious family split or after being taken into care. Currently grandparents have no legal rights in such situations based on the conclusion of one government report that grandparent-grandchild contact post divorce did not have an “essential purpose or fundamental importance†which would justify an enhanced legal status for grandparents.
Clearly grandparents should neither be underestimated nor taken for gran- ted. But, according to the authors of the report, just loving your grandchildren is not enough. “Only grandparents who got stuck in had this positive impact.â€
Tags: adolescents, ann buchanan, behavioural problems, bonds, computer wizardry, e mail, economy, emotional benefits, family breakdown, first national survey, game, grandchildren, grandparenting, grandparents, helping children, Hobbies, Hobbies And Interests, homework, important things, inclination, lai, oxford, oxford university, parents, passion, relat, relationships, seriousness, teenage boy, uk economyRelated posts
